Love At First Sight

[sewcute]

it sounds nice and that is why it exists.

[madd74]

just because something sounds nice does not mean it necessarily exists. I could describe the most absolute perfect human being in all respects... does not mean that perfect human actually exists anywhere. this is the psychological concept of "ideal".

[sewcute]

that is what I am saying, people want something nice like that to believe in and that it is why it is.

[madd74]

oh i see what you are saying now

[sewcute]

I get the feeling of late you understand me less and less... even if I am more open with you than I was say a month ago.

[mt]

love is in the air....

[madd74]

wear a face mask you might not catch it then

[nyquildreamer]

Sorry I can't disagree with the topic here, cause I don't. Physical attraction is what that's all about. But you know... I'm not a firm believer in "love" anyways. Perhaps I'm just a sad and angry man. That'd be too bad I guess, but that'd be that, wouldn't it?

Love seems like such an empty word to me. Yet so many people put so much weight on it! Example: Bob and Gail are dating. They are together regularly and say they love eachother. Bob says that someday he will marry Gail because of his abundant love. Gail says her heart is only for Bob. Two weeks later, Gail cheats on Bob with Gerard. Bob is sad for a while and then says he hates (another often empty word) Gail and so says Gail of Bob. Where did this sacred love go? Did Gail just convert her love to fit Gerard? If so, is this legal? Is it different love, or was there no love to begin with. Maybe this is too off topic for this board.

I stop... NOW!

[madd74]

aye, we are all into physical attraction. Even the me's of the world who are attracted to a person mentally see being differently physically per the mental. Example, I find Jill to be an average lookin' gal. I get to know her and see she is totally groovy and far out in a happenin' way, and over time she appears more physically attractive to me. So here, even though I am basing my attraction on personality (mental), it affects the physical aspect.

I use to think love was nothing more than a crazy made up human invention, something that sells cards, flowers, and candies. However, I do believe it is something. As for your Bob example, it is not where the love went, it is what happened. This is a classic example of an EGO defense mech at work. Some supression, and a few other things, added to protect the inner workings of the mind. It goes into hiding because the mind feels pain, possibly some dissonence. Notice in your example many times Bob will find himself later down the road thinking about her and the like. He may throw more defenses to protect against it, and at some instances do things that absolutely confuse him. "What is this strange thing I feel today about X?"