Love At First Sight

[madd74]

Something debated to death by many, I have yet to see how any rational human can think there is such a thing as love at first sight if they are actually defining love by proper terms.

If you love some one, to me, that means you have gotten to know that person, and they show traits that work with you way of life. If I have never met you before, take one look at you and see how ATTRACTIVE you are, then I am lusting at first sight.

I am curious how many out there believe in love at first sight, or maybe, believed in it until they read this and possibly changed their mind.

[gizmo0681]

Yes Yes... I have to agree with MADD completely and whole heartedly on this one... I don't see how there can be love at first sight not unless you can read someones mind and then go "OH WOW S/HE WOULD BE MOST EXCELLENT TO BE IN LOVE WITH"... Now lust at first sight is something that I do believe exists... That is where the great saying "I'D FUCK HER/HIM" comes into play. However I do know of some people that say they fell in love at first sight but they still had to get to know one another therefore I believe it to be a failure at a true love at first sight... I don't believe LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT is possible.

[sewcute]

I also agree with Madd. . .because to me, someone I care about might be ugly to person A, but to me I do not think so. so its all in the eye of the beholder

[Gretl]

*nod*

Lust at first sight is a definite "yes." Love at first sight doesn't happen. It's when that lust turns into love that humans convince themselves it was LOVE at first sight.

However I believe it's possible to fall in love very soon after meeting someone, lust aside. That is, however, due to spending time with someone, so again tht isn't love at first sight.

On the other hand... sometimes there is some other feeling that occurs when you see someone for the first time, some connection. It goes back to my "soul mates" theory. You feel an instant rapport with that person. And when that is coupled with lust at first sight and later development of love, it tends to reinforce the human belief in love at first sight.

So I think there are definite reasons why people believe in it even if it's a falsity.

[madd74]

so anyone out there in TV land want to argue the opposite?

anyone believe in love at first sight? I know some people do, I have heard them talk about it

[bitteroldshrew]

I know that love itself wasn't the issue, but I think I should clarify my definition of it before tackling the subject. I don't believe in love in the usual romantic sense. I see it as obssession, one that grows stronger as two people get to know each other and then often fades, as obssessions do, when the original excitement dies down. Thinking this way, with "obssession" as the definition of love, "love at first sight" is not impossible. Only I would call it "obssession at first sight".

[madd74]

Yes I could believe in obsession at first sight... even though, I would ask, what are you obsessing about in a person you have never met before? I would think it would only be looks.

[bitteroldshrew]

I'm just going to copy part of an entry from my journal. It explains most of my argument.

--

"It's true that some obssession lasts longer than others, and with some people it never completely goes away. I think my definition of love explains why some people are able to say "i love you" to another human being whom they barely know. To have an obssession, there need only be one aspect of a person that that the other need fixate on. Herein we find the explanation for "love at first sight". This sort of love is a fixation on the physical appearance, an obssession of beauty (or lack of it, depending your taste. =P ).

I believe that the more aspects of a person one fixates on, the stronger the emotional bond becomes. When every detail of the one who is "loved" is fixated upon, and vice versa, they would be, what some would refer to, as soulmates. In which case the obssession is everything and minor differences of personality too petty to compete with this driving fixation.

Obssession can fade however, and as fixation slowly (or quickly) leaves, the two people can be left looking at each other in different ways. Some are amazed and disgusted at small things that they never took notice of before. Some find themselves living with total strangers. Some ignore the fact that they no longer feel the same way and prefer to stay in a comfortable relationship..."

[madd74]

haha, great, NOW you are bringing soulmates into the picture, something that was stated in another post.

yeah your end part is something I see rather frequent... however, I also believe that there are aspects of the drifting process that may not ever go away, or may be very difficult to.

for example, association. someone who has a special meaning to you, and something gets associated with that person, so the person may drift away for years, and that strong associated value gets encountered, and there you are again, thinking of the person.

[sewcute]

this is semi off topic. But what about when people meet and they just have an instant connection?

[madd74]

well how do you think they have an instant connection? they do so from the appearances of each other, since they really have no idea how that other person is.

[sewcute]

Well I am not talking about them just meeting and connecting, but after just a few words. . .isn't that possible?

[madd74]

My first response is that too little information is known about the other to have a connection or love w/o the person who is doing the loving doing so because they want someone in their life, are lustfully attracted due to appearance, or what have you. However, I shall humor you and take it as the literally way you mean it.

If it was a few words, then it would not be considered "... at first sight." It would turn into, "... at several moments later."

[sewcute]

so then all the couples out there that say that they met and they just felt an instant connection, like this is the person they were meant to be with, etc, is all bullshit?

[madd74]

basically... but it sounds nice

like those who say they "need" this person and cannot live without them... same difference there also