MWF

:sigh: I am so dead tired I think I am going to pass out. J woke nice and early today, and I did not ever get a nap. I feel like I am not alive. We are busy as shit. I am testing a line right now. So... anything you write, be advice, could be delay.

well, that asshole who I was talknig to for over 11 minute sure woke me up, so no worries, I should be wake enought o drive home :grumble:

welcome to my world. I hardly ever get naps - usually just on a Friday when I am off & pick him up early enough that he hasn't napped yet. Otherwise I have to wait until I get him to bed (which tonight, was just now).

I had a lot I wanted to write, but most of it is going to be moot anyway, and I would rather not ruffle feathers unnecessarily. You already know I am frustrated and already mostly know why...and still seem to come across as I should just be fine with everything, so it seems to me that saying anything isn't going to matter anyway.

this is not some sort of compitition, that you otherwise make it sound. i am suer we both have lots that we would like to write to each other. i do not think you should up and just be fine with everything. i feel you should learn to let some things go. it is like every single little thing, you let get to you, and then you usually lash that out on me. i can only take so much

You are right - it is not a competition, and I did not mean to make it sound to be. However, there are severe inequalities between us in this relationship and I will keep fighting for those to be evened out. You have no idea how glad I am that I also get to sleep in one day a week now. However there are still quite a few things that I seem to always get the shit end of the stick on.

You know, I can only take so much, too. And I do not lash out about every little thing. And this business with your family visiting is not some little thing, ok. It's been all you and them from the first day - I have not mattered a bit, because I am not part of the family? Because that is how it makes me feel. I have a life I am trying to have, too. And I have had to rearrange it at least 3 times now because of all this that I was never included in in the first place. You have not heard MOST of how I feel because I do not want to hurt your feelings or piss you off. But nobody in this whole situation seems to give a rat's ass about my feelings at all and, to be blunt, I'm fucking sick of it.

I WANT your mom and family to visit and see the baby and stuff. I do not want to clear my slate for 3 days for people to show up 2 days later than that and have to clear 3 more days. I do not want to feel like my feelings do not matter in this home. I want to be included in decisions to plan events like this. I do not want you to disregard my hurt feelings about it all like you have been and tell me I just need to let it go. If you want my support in decisions like this then you have to support me, too. I will support your wanting to have a family reunion if you will support my wanting a certain level of presentability for our home.

And stop acting like I am in the wrong the way I feel. The moment you made that decision with your mom without saying you'd talk to me about it first (not like I would ever say no - it is just the principle of the matter), you made me feel like a tenant of yours, instead of someone in a relationship with you and sharing a home with you.

see other post when i finish it's reply

All your other post said regarding this one is that you aren't going to reply. I would rather you did, but if you don't feel like it I guess you won't.