- the true tale of things to never happen -
So one day, I went to the bar, and I met this slut. She had big tits and for the moment I was a slut for big tits. She played pool and was macking on my married friend Jeff... who later I would make out with that night. She wanted to fuck me hard core, because I have extremely pretty hair, and the girls have thought this for some time now. Anyway, she took me to her car after I dazzled her with my bluetooth keyboard. So she took me back to her place since she had to "go potty", and proceeded to attempt to do me on her couch. I said no sex for a month, and then after that, she raped me while sleeping, we had a kid, I called her a bitch, after she called herself a bitch and me an asshole, I did not cuddle enough with her, and she pulled my hair.
-THE END